Brandy
Regular Member
There are 3 kind of people in life, those who do, those who watch and those who ask what happened.
Posts: 215
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Privacy
Apr 29, 2003 20:18:19 GMT -5
Post by Brandy on Apr 29, 2003 20:18:19 GMT -5
I've been thinking alot about privacy lately. I thought I've gotten much better at keeping my big mouth shut - not saying too much about myself that I don't want other people to find out other than those I've told.
On these sites we "meet" fun and interesting people from all over that we'd love to meet in person, a few of which I have and thoroughly enjoyed meeting, and many of you whom I can't wait to meet. However, people really don't think about the fact that we should not be giving out information about other[/b] people without their permission.
I'm more concerned now because Amerikanska was mentioned on the radio. Now "we" are out there more than ever to people we don't know, etc.
Of course, there are those that could get all the information they can on us electronically, and that's the risk we all take coming on these sites, but I'm sure there aren't too many of those to be concerned about.
Here's my point:
It just bothers me, that I have no[/b] control over what others find out about me on these sites. I want to be the one giving out the information! I know some people think they are only being helpful to the new comer - "Call her she lives near you", but in actuality that should be me[/b] saying, "Call me!" What if we already knew each other and there was a restraining order or something in the picture!
Anybody else uncomfortable about the release of personal information, even user nicknames, from other people other than ourselves? I only ask because sometimes I see people using real names in responses to friends, instead of their nick name, and isn't that why we have the nicknames, to have a minute amount of control over who knows us?
I love you all, this is, in no way, meant to be an attack or accusation on anybody. I understand that this release of information is done innocently and only with good intentions.
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Privacy
Apr 30, 2003 1:20:27 GMT -5
Post by Sabeine on Apr 30, 2003 1:20:27 GMT -5
I don't give out that info. I contact the third person first and ask if it's okay.
Privacy is a tricky thing. How much is too much? And what is too little?
I have noticed that here in Sweden privacy is not nearly as preserved as in the States. No one would ask you for your SSN while renting a video, our checking out a library book there, but here they do.
If I wanted to find out info about someone here all I would need is their name and personnumber. That isn't hard to find out. I work at a clothing store, and when a customer signs a credit card slip, they sign their name, and then are asked to write their personnumber under the signature. I know have all I really need to know to find out where this person lives, works, and how much he/she makes for income. It is scary in my opinion.
I realized pretty early on that privacy is not a big deal here when I saw how few people close their curtains here at night. I live in Stockholm, and I look around and I can see in to every apt and see exactly what they are doing. The curtains seem to serve only as window decor and not much else. I live on the 5 th floor, and can see into every apt across the street. Sometimes I wonder if these people realize this. I'm sure they do, since many of them I can see looking into other people's apt's. I close my drapes, I don't want people watching me eat, or watch tv, or anything else.
This is not an attack on Swedes, it is an observation on privacy.
I do agree though Brandy, giving out other people's personal info is a no no. Ask first, then proceed.
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Privacy
Apr 30, 2003 1:24:20 GMT -5
Post by Carolyn on Apr 30, 2003 1:24:20 GMT -5
Yes, I see what you mean, Brandy, and I took a few minutes to go back over some recent posts of mine, just to see how guilty I was of doing this as well. I know I'm much more aware of it on Amerikanska, mostly because of some history there between people and actual contact being made that was unwanted, and so I have kept my e-mail address hidden there especially.
I think with the question of using real names versus nicknames, as far as I can tell, some of us (me too) have used the real name here, but never the whole name, which is at least SOME level of privacy.
But I do think that an individual's wish SHOULD be respected and in NO case should an e-mail address OR full name OR phone number be sent to a third party, without the express permission of the person whose name, address or whatever is being sent. That's just going WAY beyond what's reasonable and shouldn't be done, period. better to say "I'll put him/her in touch with you" if something like that is requested.
And I've known of people who have given out WAY more personal information than I'd be comfortable giving on boards that have WAY more circulation than this one.
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Privacy
Apr 30, 2003 2:50:09 GMT -5
Post by Sabeine on Apr 30, 2003 2:50:09 GMT -5
I forgot to state in my previous posting that maybe Swedes feel that the need for privacy is not as important as say in other countries.
Crimes that can occur in the States are still not a problem here, or it is minimal. Stalking, murder, etc... Yes it occurs here too, but not to the same degree. For this reason I think that many Swedes feel safer. Possibly this is the reason why their privacy is not such a big deal.
I don't know what kind of info was given out about you, you didn't say. As for me, if someone knows my name here, I don't mind. Most of the people I am in regular email contact with from this site, I have also met in person. I feel comfortable with them and don't mind that they know my name, phone number, and other personal stuff. However, if someone were to start posting that on a website, that would scare me.
Happy Hump Day!
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Privacy
Apr 30, 2003 5:01:11 GMT -5
Post by Carolyn on Apr 30, 2003 5:01:11 GMT -5
Yeah, I was discussing privacy with my husband the other day. We don't have TOO many windows that look right into ours, but one of the apartments that is set at an angle from ours is lived in by an older woman, who makes a habit of standing at the window in her kitchen during the morning buck naked. Now I myself don't have a problem with nudity, pretty or not. And I think it's kind of cool that despite the fact that age and gravity have obviously had its way with her body, she's comfortable enough to wander around nude. But as an American, I was a little taken aback the first few times I saw her, not out of horror or disgust, it was just not what I expected, given our state of mind about nudity in the States.
As I told Anders, if this was the States, probably some old biddy would have called the police OR the landlord or something about this naked woman. And any male who saw her would probably be drooling from behind his curtains or whatever. Here, you notice it the first time and then it becomes nothing important.
And as he said, it's her apartment, if she wants to wander around naked in it, it's nobody's business but her own, which is a healthy attitude.
but away from the subject of nudity, as has been said, although it goes on here, there just doesn't seem to be THAT much stalking going on, although there was a case in the papers the other day with a woman from Örebro, but overall, it's not as much of an issue. And if you need to hide from somebody like that, you CAN get with the police and such and get a new number and keep it private if necessary.
I just think it is overall a much better policy, though, not to give TOO much information about anybody on line, and definitely not addresses and phone numbers in an open forum. And even in private messages, I think care should be taken about giving those out at first, until you're completely comfortable with the person you're talking with.
Heck, I wouldn't even give out my ICQ number on a large forum like Amerikanska. And for those of you who go there as well, the recent exchange between some of the people involving another member, whose wife reacted strongly to the ICQ numbers, is enough to make you see why you should be careful there.
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Brandy
Regular Member
There are 3 kind of people in life, those who do, those who watch and those who ask what happened.
Posts: 215
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Privacy
Apr 30, 2003 5:17:44 GMT -5
Post by Brandy on Apr 30, 2003 5:17:44 GMT -5
Guess I missed the ICQ episode! Privacy is really interesting when looked at in those perspectives you guys mentioned. There are many people that aren't concerned at all about certain types of privacy, ie. the older lady near Carolyn's apartment. But yet, that same lady is probably a very private person that doesn't want just anybody to know certain things about her, even though she doesn't mind if they know gravity has taken its toll. Funny thing. I like all[/i] my privacy and want to be the one to disclose who Brandy is!
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Post by Natooke on May 2, 2003 1:31:49 GMT -5
When our former neighbours told me one day that she could see what we were watching on TV in our bedroom & could see us in our kitchen I went out the next day and bought a roll down blind for our bedroom and changed around the kitchen curtains ... I like my privacy and there just no need to see me looking like Don King in the morning With Sweden having an open society of legal documents … I’m too hesitant to give my PN out freely. When our car was broken into and the cops arrested the thief … the courts sent the readings to us, in the papers was a sheet about the thief … his PN, address, tel# employers name etc later when my husband went to the police station to claim the tools that were stolen … the officer also proceeded to tell my husband that this fellow has a wife and 2 kids … a little too much I feel. Since I became a “global mod” on another site, I am also “privy” to member’s e-mails. I would never dream of stepping over the line and pass on a address to another … even if their in the same area.... Or whatever the circumstance.
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Barb
New Member
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Post by Barb on May 2, 2003 2:44:22 GMT -5
This has been kind of bothering me since I moved here a year ago. I was a bit shocked during my first days in SFI when the lesson in the class consisted of going around the class and giving out your birthday, p/n and consisted of everybody writing the info down so they could practice their numbers. When I commented on it to my hub, he said so what is the big deal ? As someone already said, you would never just hand out your SS number in the states and since so much is tied to it here in Sweden, I am kind of shocked that it is just offered so freely.
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Klant
New Member
Posts: 14
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Post by Klant on May 2, 2003 3:36:47 GMT -5
The demand for personnummer here is completely idiotic. All you need is for the wrong person to get a hold of it, and after that, they can go out and get bank loans and all kinds of things in your name (well, not in my name, but still...). A few years ago there was a debate here about classifying those numbers, but I don't really think anything happened. Until then, try to just keep them to yourselves, and if a clerk at a gas station asks for your pnr, try to atleast hand them your ID instead of shouting it out for anyone to hear...
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