Will it help?!

[Regina]

I have a small dilemma which I need help with. It is income tax time here and when i get done paying what i need to pay I have two choices left. I can ...1. go to sweden for my first time ever or 2. apply for residency and put the money toward moving. What i need to know is if it will help my application if I have first been to sweden before I apply. My boyfriend and I think that I need to go to sweden first but if that isn't the case; then maybe we should concentrate on using the money to get my stuff moved instead. So the question is (LOL) do I have to have visited sweden previously before I apply? or does it make a difference? thanks for any help that ya'll can give. ;D

[Carolyn]

You don't have to have visited Sweden when applying for residency, but your boyfriend will probably be asked to show that he's come to visit you for a reasonable amount of time. The immigration people are going to want to know that you have established some kind of a relationship in real life.

Personally, I think you should go to Sweden before you decide to move there. I love it myself, but it isn't everybody's ideal place AND the further north you go, the less you MAY care for it.

Believe it or not, love does NOT conquer all and if you don't like the place you've moving to, that can cause a lot of problems, besides the normal ones of adjusting to living with somebody, cultural differences, language differences, etc.

You can move pretty cheaply after all, if you don't insist on hauling everything you've ever owned over there. I don't think it cost me more than $1,000 (if that) to move, and I shipped over 600 pounds of books.

Good luck on whatever you decide.

[Regina]

He has been here several times. A total of nine weeks I believe. And yes I want to visit first but he is wanting us to be together soon. And as far as money goes ... well ... it's either come for a visit this year and move at income tax time next year or move this year. He doesn't want to wait another year for this and i don't really want to either. (most of the time) I am just very confused right now. This whole move thing seems so hard. I have never let difficulties stop me before but this time ... well it's daunting. Anyway, i am whining, sorry.
Also, you said that it is cheap to move. There are just some things that I don't want to leave. Like a couch that i havn't even finished paying for ... also a bed and a dresser. It's so hard to decide what to leave behind. Like my kids toys ... what to leave? Anyway, did you just take clothes and essentials or did you move any furniture? (Caroline that is) Sorry i know i can be confusing at times. Any suggestions would be very halpful. Thanks

[Sabeine]

I would visit before you move. I know this may not be the popular question, but what is the hurry? I sure do understand your wanting to be together, but I think that if you rush and move right now, it may be too much, too soon. I think waiting and sorting things out would be my suggestion. I think you said yourself that you are kind of confused right now. Give yourself some time to figure out if this is really what you want. It is a big move after all.

Like Carolyn stated, that she likes it here, so do I. I have however met more Americans that do not like it and plan to move back than those that do like it. Sweden is a lovely country in my eyes, but that has just been my experience. I don't want to scare you off in any way, even if it sounds like I am.
If you plan to move here, my advice is visit first. Come when it is cold and dark, so you can see the other side of what summer is like. Most everyone likes it here during spring and summer, but when it is -18C and dark at 2:30pm that's when one figures out if this is for them.

[Sabeine]

Regina,

Are you related to Leslie? She's the founder/webmaster of this site. I saw your profile and it said, Regina Beard. I think that was Leslie's maiden name. I could be wrong though.

[Regina]

Sabiene, I don't think so. My last name is beard through my previous marriage. I just havn't been able to change it as of yet. Although I will have it done by the end of february. My maiden name is Alexander. And as for her being related to my ex I doubt it. Even if she was I don't think she would want to admit it. LOL And you are right. We have talked and have decided that I will visit there first. He is just not the most patient person in the world. And yes honey, I know you will read this! LOL You are hard headed! but I love you just the way you are. But I am still curious about the moving that Caroline was talking about. Am wondering how she moved for 1,000.

[Sabeine]

One option for moving books in through a special rate called "M bag" at the post office. It is a rate that is given to printed material only. Books, magazines, sheet music etc... are okay but non printed material is not. The rate I believe is 79 cents per lb to Sweden. I sent 8 boxes of books total (5 when I moved, and 3 more when I went for a visit) and the total for everything was a couple hundred dollars, in fact I think it was less. I was originally planning not to bring any books, because I thought it would cost way to much to ship, then I found out about M bags. It is worth it to bring them with you. English books here cost a lot. A paperback book often costs as much as a hardback one in the States. If you like to read, bring them with you.
About moving the other stuff, I really can't be much of help. I didn't bring furniture with me. I brought some smaller items, like picture frames, a couple vases I really liked, some candlesticks that are antiques, my clothes, etc... I brought the stuff that I really like, stuff that would make me feel at home here, something familiar to me.
I kind of wish I had brought my bed though, because it was way more comfortable than the one we have now. At the time I moved I think I thought it would cost too much, so I gave it to a friend instead. It stinks too, because it was less than a year old.
What Carolyn may be referring to is that you may be able to ship a container. A large sturdy plastic shipping crate that is something like 10 ft by 10 ft. Some people on this site have done this, and a few more on the other site, Amerikanska. Maybe someone here can describe here more about what a container is, and the cost involved. I didn't ship my things that way, because I didn't have enough stuff (there is a minimum requirement) but if you have a bed, sofa, etc.. that might be the way to go.

By the way, where in Sweden are you planning to move to?

[Carolyn]

Okay, moving for $1,000, hmmm, it's been awhile, but here goes.

First and foremost, remember that my husband and I are older folks, and I wasn't moving any children, which will make a HUGE difference.

I had visited my husband's apartment in Sweden, so I knew what he had in the way of furnishings. I also took that 3-week period I was over there to look around at all the stores and see what was available there, including (and don't scoff at this) the second-hand shops, which tend to have a MUCH higher quality of stuff than most local second-hand stores here.

Some people tend to move to Sweden as if they were moving to Ulan Bator or Siberia. There is VERY little that you cannot obtain there. Some of the exceptions are colorful fitted sheets, but they do have fitted sheets, just not a huge selection of colors and styles.

So, my major cost in moving was about $550 for books, which I could not leave behind (and that was after I sold about two-thirds of them as well). For that, I shipped over 600 pounds of books. (I'm shipping another 200 pounds when we go back in March.)

I had a few sets of sheets and a duvet for a queen-sized bed already and those I took in one of my suitcases (investigate those sealer type bags where you can suck out most of the air and they shrink to nothing. In between the comforter and sheets, I placed breakable momentos of my parents and a few things I'd collected over the years.

I had three of the largest suitcases I could find (two hard-shell and one soft). I paid $125 for the extra suitcase on Northwest Airlines, but that way, I was able to bring along things that I could not stand to lose by shipping.

I also packed down about a half dozen boxes and mailed them via parcel post (slow boat by way of China). It is not cheap, but I think I paid about $40 per box. In these boxes, I had such things as measuring cups and spoons, some cake pans and baking things I didn't see in Sweden (8x8-inch pans for my brownies), bath sheets (but I also found out you CAN buy huge bath towels in Sweden).

I had an enormous yard or "estate" sale before I left the States and sold pretty much everything I owned. And if you do visit Sweden, you may notice that a lot of the rooms, especially bedrooms, can be smaller than in the States and often a lot of furniture that looks okay at home will be way out of proportion for the rooms in Sweden. A California King, for instance, would have taken up most of our bedroom. We did go out and buy a queen-sized bed when I got there, which my American sheets do fit.

A lot of this depends on how attached you are to stuff. Your TV and VCR will not work over there, for example, nor will most of your kitchen appliances, unless you buy some pretty hefty (and expensive) converters.

Since you have kids, there are going to be some things that you'll need to ship over for them in the way of toys and stuff, but I sure wouldn't ship over too much. As I said, Sweden is a very civilized country and almost anything you have here, you can get there.

If you do intend to ship a lot, especially if you live near a port city (Boston, New York, Los Angeles, Houston, Miami, etc.) you can investigate shipping via freight forwarders (moving companies may be a lot more expensive). Make sure the shipping costs you're quoted include customs clearance at the other end. And before you contract to move, find out the cost of shipping your stuff from your home to the port, because that's done on a per mile AND weight charge, whereas the shipping by sea is done on a per cubic meter cost and can be quite reasonable for that part of it.

But most of all, I'd say go to Sweden first, see what he has, look at the shops there and then be ruthless when you get rid of stuff.

[Pam]

I agree with the others about visiting first. Not for the application but for yourself. If you decide to move here for sure you shouldn't have those doubts. Furniture? Not worth the expense of shipping. Really. Carolyn only made the move so cheaply because she was able to part with things.....most things. We all left stuff behind.
Something else you probably don't want to hear is this...if the cost of visiting will wipe out your finances enough that you can't move before next year it may be hard financially when/if you move here. Don't forget to figure that into your decision making process somewhere.

[Kitty Sue]

Hi, I am one of the people who moved over here without ever having visited Sweden first. In my case my sambo and I had lived together for 2 years in Canada and had a son together. I had met his parents and sister when they came to visit us in Canada. So I at least knew that we could live together and that his family was nice. I put all my belongings in storage and just came over with 4 suitcases and a hockey bag full of toys for our then 18 month old son. While I don't regret the move, I think it would have made my adjustment here much easier if I had been here first and had an idea of what the place was like and how different it was to hear a strange language everywhere. It was a really big adjustment and there was a lot of stress the first few months, much of it because I felt so lost and could not get my bearings. (literally, I had a terrible time even getting to the local centrum because I could not get used to the walking paths and felt lost without a road beside me).

It is possible to make the adjustment without visiting here first, but I think it might be easier if you visit. You have to weigh which is more worth to you: possibly being more stessed adjusting to a totally new environment or spending another year apart from your fellow.

Oh, I should add that my belongings are still in storage. They are crated for shipping and I will likely bring them over when we buy a home this year. Sadly, if I had brought them over the first year, we would not have had to pay taxes on them, but now we will. How much tax will be the determining factor in whether I ship or just have the crate dropped at a family member's in Canada with the intent of yard saleing everything except the books and family pictures.

[Regina]

Thank you all so much for the huge response and helpful suggestions. I am moving to what my SO calls a small town. I believe the name is Avesta. I am also trying to learn swedish now from a cd that mysteriously arrived in the mail. Does anyone besides me think that was a BIG hint?! LOL As for the furniture, clothing, toys and etc. I recieved a quote from a door to door moving company for 2400.00. I think that was the price. or close to that. And the only reason I do not want to give up the furniture is like I said before. I havn't even finished paying for them yet. for the couch, bed and dresser I am paying 2500.00. So they have to go! And again, I know you are reading this honey! LOL But I am letting alot of other things go. You can imagine the amount of furniture I have as I have a 3 bedroom aprtment that is quite spacious. I am however wanting to bring my pots and pans ( i think ). But so on and so forth. But I am leaving my electronic's behind. And yes, I am going to miss my kitchen appliances like the devil! Now as for my books I am going to ship them by M-bag as I have been told about on here. For that I thank you very much! But as I go through certain things I will begin to slowly ship a few boxes here and there. Things that are more sentimental than anything else. That will just be the best I can do for now.
As for what I will miss most. Friends that I have had for most of my adult life and my mother. She and I are the best of friends. Leaving Texas is so hard and at times it scares the hell out of me. But such is life.

[Sabeine]

Regina,

If you mail your books with M bag be prepared for the possiblity that they do not know what you are talking about. I went to 2 different rather larger post offices in my home city of San Diego, and the first place didn't seem to know what M bag. It wasn't until they called in the supervisor that she explained what it was. It is not an advertised rate, and since it is much cheaper they don't want to announce that it is available. Definitely keep your receipts after you have shipped them. It is your way of having a tracking number once they are sent. Since it is a cheap rate per pound, they are shipped the "slow boat to China". It takes between 4-6 weeks to reach Sweden. I shipped my books about 3 weeks before I moved, and all 5 boxes arrived here as promised. A big tip though is tape the hell out the boxes. They are shipped in a mail parcel bag that used to be canvas/burlap when I first moved but now is rather flimsy plastic (found that out the last time I shipped them). The boxes are thrown around a lot during the shipping to Sweden. Sides of the boxes can split open, and can result in torn bookcovers, or dings and dents. Buy sturdy cardboard boxes, and use heavy duty gray cable tape on top, bottom, and sides of each box. I recommend double taping each box. I double taped all the boxes that I first sent when I moved here, and the books arrived in great condition. This past March I went home for a visit, and shipped some books M bag and skimped on the taping. I taped each box only once, and two boxes had broken at the seams, and a few books looked rather dinged as a result. I can't complain since the rate is really cheap, and each time I have mailed using M bag all the boxes have arrived, but to insure that the books arrive as you sent them, use a super strong tape, and tape it well.

Okay I'm starting to sound like someone's mother now. ;D

By the way, where in Texas are you from? I myself am from CA, but my twin sis lives in Houston. The webmaster here, Leslie is from Texas.