NO FRIENDS!!!!

[Hazel]

;DHello everyone! I'm so glad I found this site. I've been in Sweden only for a few months (4 months). I moved here with my family. I haven't gone to school to study Swedish language because there's no available Daycare for my 16 months old son. It's hard to not have friends! Help!

[Carolyn]

Where are you located, Hazel? And I hope your Swede has put your name on a waiting list as well for day care. Sometimes it takes a while. If you post your town, perhaps there is somebody here living near you.

[Aussie]

Hi Hazel,

I know it's really hard to get started in a new country, but don't despair! There are some friendly people around.

I see that you are listed as being in Göteborg. I can't help you as I'm WAY across the other side of the country, but I do know that the AWC in Gothenburg is a really friendly, fun group of people. They have a lot of activites going on and there are bound to be some that you could attend.

There is also the IFG in the same town. They may have something to interest you.

There is a good site for parents at Parentnet. It is based here in Sweden and also has some tips and news for parents.

And of course we are here on Positively Sweden. Sure we are scattered all over Sweden, but some online friendships can be great as well.

[Hazel]

Thanks!

I'm in Göteborg and yes my son is already on the waiting list. I was told that it could take some time but what can I do... I just have to be patient.

[angiebaby]

Hej Hazel!
I know what you mean.

Its not like we can walk around town with "friendly new immigrant looking for friends" board on our backs or something.

I have a very very small group of friends....Hmm... let me rephrase that....I think I have three and maybe four including my dh. I can't call his family members my friends....right now but well thats another story.

Friends were part of the package back home. Work has plenty of opportunities, friends from school, friends of friends and then going out and bumping into someone and hello!- I made a new one.

But the period between moving here, adjusting to the lifestyle, society, the language, changes in your Swede, his family, getting around to language school and then finally being able to OPEN your mouth and say something in Swedish....I think life will be lonely.

However we at least have the ability to come to forums on the net such as this to share our ideas, discuss issues and get online help....most immigrants may not have even that.

Another thing, I am not that (yet) desperate to be friends with just anyone. I don't need to surround myself with people i dont have anything in common with or be used by them for the sake of having friends.

I have been through that phase and found myself sitting with people who just sat down and TALKED all the way from sitting down to paying the check down to the road, about HERSELF & complains about Sweden.


I think I said hello and really ten times. I hardly got a word in. Another calls me up to ask me things like "can you please go the computer and see where the restaurant is from the train station" on the internet although I was in the middle of cooking at that time. I realized I had to be careful and perhaps even choosy when it came to starting new friendship and not be misguided by my need to connect.

I have very positive views about Sweden although I can't help a vent here and there when it gets tough to manage but my overall views are positive and i dont want to hang around whiners and end up a loser.

My advice to you is to take it easy and things will come. If you have one good friend, its enough.
But I think you may have a better chance at getting friends than me. One of the things that get people talking to strangers is cute dogs and babies. Its easier to start a conversation with other mothers for example. I have seen a few mothers on mother's leave in a cafe near my place sitting with baby in the stroller and having coffee and have another mother come up and start chatting and end up having a conversation.
Take walks with the kid and smile alot...LOL

Sorry just went for a long walk almost an hour at 10pm and I think my brain in on overdrive...sorry for the long post.