Getting the blues

[Sabeine]

I've been in Sweden for almost 2.5 years now, plus I was here for a year back in 1990. I never in these times experienced homesickness, or depression caused by living in a different country. Today I feel it though. I feel really low, sad, weepy. I am not normally like this, in everyday life. Of course I have battled depression in the past due to family circumstances and things happening that were not expected, depression and withdrawl from life at those times are sort of expected. Today though was the first real time I felt true homesickness. I have of course missed my family and friends since moving here, but I have not felt true homesickness. I had not felt that I wished I was back in the States. I do today though. I don't know what it is, I don't think it is winter blues, cause wouldn't I have felt that before? In truth I had a bad day at work, and some other things happened today that ticked me off, but this is not anger it is sadness. I feel like I'm a blink away from tears, and I don't like this feeling. Does anyone have some advice for me on how to pull it together?

[Carolyn]

How about just giving in and letting yourself have that big old cry? Just let 'er rip and indulge yourself for a limited period of time. Once that's done, can you call somebody you're close to? Hug Anders and ask for some hugs back?

A lot of times, outside stressors such as work will open up inner doors, because it's easier to face. But it never hurts to give into your need for a little sadness, a little loneliness every now and then, as long as you don't let it take over.

You know me personally and you KNOW I LOVE my life in Sweden, but yeah, I've had days too when I just wanted to be back home, even though that home doesn't exist anymore without my mom and dad.

I send you hugs too and hope this passes relatively quickly.

[Sabeine]

Well I have let myself have a good cry many times since moving here, but I didn't feel much better after that. I felt like a loser. I guess I've felt that I am in no position to whine. People here in Sweden have said that because my family is from here, I should be used to it all by now. That makes it worse for me. I am not used to "it all" by now. My parents and their brothers, sisters, family and such are from here, but my sister and I were born and raised in the States. We are Americans. We have never felt differently. My parents spoke only English with us, and sometimes if it was something secret they spoke Swedish to each other. That's when my sister and I really listened in. But seriously, it is hard for anyone moving to a new country. I'm sure it was really hard when my parents moved from a small town in nothern Sweden to the States, and they couldn't speak much English at all. I guess I feel most bad about, that I have no right to complain. I have relatives here, I am not really close to them, but still it is some family. I just feel really down today. I don't know what it is. I don't like feeling this way. I'm sure it will blow over, I just wanted to let off some steam, and possibly shead a few tears. To all of us on this site, we have come a LONG way, and we have done really well!! I have always felt great encouragement from ladies on this site. Thanks for letting me vent for a bit...

[LadyDuff]

** hugs **


I understand what you mean, having Swedish ancestry does not make you Swedish! I mean, it does to an extent, but it doesnt mean that you know everything about the country or the people or the way life is here and all that, the stuff that you get when you live in a country for many years, from birth or from early years ( no matter where in the world).

I agree, some days things happen and then you just feel bad and makes it affect you more than it normally would! I know, I have been in that situation too! Ok, that is different than what you are feeling, but I have a hard time in school, I dont feel like I fit in and I feel alot of anxiety about going to school when I have to and such, this makes me feel a ton of stress, and sometimes I can manage it pretty well, but there are times when something happens or someone says something and I just start crying about it at a later date....or because someone does/says something completely different, or any other reason!

Well, what Im trying to say is that I understand what you are going through, although the reasons may be different, I know what you mean about feeling like a loser for crying and like you dont have the right to feel bad and so on...

I think that you do have the right to all that...as well as getting hugs from your SO, and the ladies here...so here, another hug from me

**hugs again**

[=Mystik=]

Hi Sabeine,

Sorry to hear you're feeling down. I was reading one of those "women's magazines" the other day (unusual for me) and they had an article about food and mood. Couldn't hurt to try! Maybe this should be under the Health board here, but:

For your type of feeling, they recommend omega-3 fatty acids for a few days. They list as good sources: salmon, sardines, trout and herring (sounds Swedish to me...well, sardines are southern European, whatever... ) They also mention things like pumpkin seeds and walnuts. You can also take supplements, the target is 1-2g/day.

Then they give a whole list of recommended food types to keep yourself doing well through a typical stressful day:

Breakfast --> protein with a little carb (like 2 eggs/yogurt with toast or other bread/grain/cereal serving, maybe some berries for Vitamin C.

Lunch --> protein and vegetables, a little carb (lean meat/poultry/fish with greens/salad/tomatoes, maybe some crackers/crispbread)

Snack if desired --> for afternoon stress, a little carb, maybe some coffee too. (cookies/pretzels)

Dinner --> carbs & veggies (salad, pasta with fresh veggies in the sauce, or baked potato with topping of your choice)

Take care of yourself - literally!

=M=

[Brandy]

My answer is similar to Mystik's. Vitamin D.

With the decreased sunlight I think our bodies need a little Vitamin D supplement. I know I was feeling really badly for about two months, and the vitamin supplement really took care of it for me.

Of course, you also have to try keep positive even under difficult circumstances, but it can help give you the extra strength and energy to deal with life's difficulties. I know now I'm sleeping better, my moods are better and I'm not as likely to just stare out into space even though I'm way to busy to be doing that!

I can't recommend VITAMIN D enough. It is really important. We also need to think of a little extra calcium so find an all around supplement.

Good Luck. I'm thinking about you!

[Brandy]

P.S: I also lived here in 90 (90 - 93) and came back 2.5 yrs ago, only to have this very same problem for the first time here as well! I started in Sept. though almost as soon as the weather got too cold for short sleeves. It just got worse and worse, until I called my Dad (a doctor) 2 months into it, and asked if I should be put on something. He suggested the supplement and since mine was a mild-moderate depression it was enough for me. (I needed anywhere from 10 -12 hours of sleep a night and even then I was crying all my waking hours that I wasn't around other people or taking a nap!

[Pam]

Anna, make sure that it is homesickness. When I'm fed up with anything in my life here I instinctively think of home and wonder why I left there. When it happens I give in to it for a little while then often see that, although I do miss family and friends, that's not the real reason I was in a mood.
If it's homesickness get in touch with someone from there. Someone who can always talk you out of a mood. If it turns out that there's an underlying problem deal with that too.
And don't forget....CHOCOLATE is a natural mood enhancer.